Cl. Misconception 6: Pardon the Interruption

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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Alexis
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Cl. Misconception 6: Pardon the Interruption

Post by Alexis » Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:26 pm

Twisted Damage To Nijiran Ports
On the 29th of March at 11:53pm Galactic Standard Time, Twisted metal commenced "Operation Bent Iron" which alliance officials considered to be a great succss.
A Galactic Post reporter met up with the raiders at Bottom's Up Bar and Grill to join in their post-operations celebration.

Edgecrusher commented on the recent raids, "The operations were a complete success. Everything went to plan, without any casualties. It was also highly rewarding".

"The aim of the mission was to attack vital ports throughout Nijiran space. The purpose was to upset the balance for traders in the galaxy, try to bring them out". Tordek_ulfgar commented.

No one from Twisted Metal would say how much was gained by the raids, nor would they comfirm other speculations regarding a mid-week raid on Thevian ports.

By the end of the mission, four Nijarin ports were raided; a crippling blow to traders in the galaxy. The misssion is a true testimant to Twisted Metal's professional conduct through-out the universe.

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Intergalactic Spaceballs Competitors Gear up for the Final 4 in Omar
After a surprise victory from Mechanical Supplying University (MSU), all four teams headed to the final slots in the tournament are set. Some critics of Collegiate Spaceballs claim that the winner of the upcoming game between MSU and the University of Connected Sectors (UConn) will likely decide who will win the intergalactic tournament in 2009.
On the other side of the bracket, the mysterious Villanova will take on Narcotics Carriers Universally (NCU).

In recent years, SMR and members of the Galactic Post have noticed large increases in bandwidth through pilot's satellite receivers during this time of the year, which can likely be linked to the many heated Spaceballs games that are being transmitted across 10 galaxies.

If you plan on attending the Final Four in Omar, the GP and Federal Authorities would like to remind you that the only weapon allowed to be manned on your ship through the galaxy at the time of the game is a Laser. Violators will be thrown in Federal Prison for a minimum of 24 hours.

Both of these games will prove to be battles to the very end, so stay tuned to the Galactic Post for more information.

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The editor would like to apologize for the slow release of this small issue. Due to circumstances regarding her health, the paper may be on somewhat of a sluggish pace for the next week or two. The editor would like to thank everybody for their patience.
Naturally, the universe's conspiracy theorists have questioned the Galactic Post's official statement regarding this issue. However, the GP wants to make very clear that the following rumors are ONLY rumors and are in no way, shape, or form accurate:

The editor has not been busy taming and riding the moon worms.
She has not spent the last week developing an evil plot to conquer and control the universe using only a coconut and a microwave.
She has not been kidnapped by Siege and taken to a secret celestial lair.
She has not been cheating on the Galactic Post with another newspaper.

Again, we would like to thank everybody for their patience as our editor continues to recover.

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