Galactic Post 5-10-02

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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GalacticPost
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Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 2:15 am

Galactic Post 5-10-02

Post by GalacticPost »

Galactic Post

5/10/02

by GalacticPost Editor1






Galactic Thief Nabbed, Bank Records Provide the Clue

Last night, Beholder of Purgatory, a petty criminal and known galactic thug, tried his hand at a more ingenuous and daring form of crime; bank robbery. Racing into a local branch of the Last Galactic Bank in Omar, the ambitious criminal flailed about the room with a hither unknown and advanced looking weapon, a piece of technology known as a 'Super Soaker'. Threatening instantaneous death to the petrified patrons, Beholder rushed to an Automated Teller, currently in use by a shocked merchant from -=Shadow=-, and, using his own access to that alliance's account, emptied it of its contents.

61 5/9/2002
3:38:28 AM ~Beholder of Purgatory~ (235) what can i say im greedy :) 31,000,000

Needless to say, the blatant advertisement of the removal of funds left little for Federal authorities to investigate. He is currently confined to Federal Space, pending litigation. We here at the Post feel obligated to warn the organizations of the Universe against this individual, as his lack of trustworthiness is apparent.

Genetic Manipulation

Rumors of genetic experimentation have abounded throughout the galaxies in the recent past. Investigative reporting has shown that the prophet of the heathen god Deke Fentle, also known as Mr Spock, and his disciples have been working diligently in secret to create a new race of beings to be unleashed on the unsuspecting universe. These creatures are rumored to be in control of advanced, previously unknown technologies and are expected to be a significant threat to the current balance of power. We here at the Galactic Post felt obligated to warn you of this new possible threat to give you all ample time to plan its exploitation.

Experienced Spacemerchant Celebrates Passing from Ancient to Old and Decrepit

Six days ago on board the deck of her new Planetary Super Freighter, Nariis, an esteemed and well known member of the Spacemerchant community, underwent the traditional ceremony granting the title of Old and Decrepit. Known in ancient times as a 'birthday', this archaic celebration once involved the extinguishing of a group of flames piled atop a large micro-organism infested nutritional source known as a 'cake'. Nariis, who lost count of her own years centuries ago, actually remembers participating in such a bizarre practice, and insisted in performing it once more. After several weeks of investigation, an ancient text known as 'Sally's Supreme Cookbook' was discovered by some of her old colleagues and a recreation of a 'cake' was made. Early attempts yielded the discovery that the micro-organism, known on Sol III as 'yeast', could not survive in a nuclear irradiator. Regretfully, the elderly matron of the skies no longer had the vigor of her youth, and the candles were extinguished by a steady leak of spittle before she could build up the wind sufficient to complete the ceremony. We here at the Galactic Post would like to congratulate Nariis on her completion of so many years, and would like to wish her success in her future life and eccentric ceremonies.
The Galactic Post is seeking new journalists! If you're interested, message us at galacticpost80k@hotmail.com!
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