The Space Merchant Reporter Vol. 1 Edition 1

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
Post Reply
smfieldreporter1
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 4:25 am

The Space Merchant Reporter Vol. 1 Edition 1

Post by smfieldreporter1 »

Image

New Federation President Elected

A new President rules the Federation and has answered a couple of questions concerning the state of Badlands today.

Pirates: "I told you when I was elected that we wouldn't run from these pirates because that would be wrong. The great federation does not run. So I'm keeping that promise because I have learned that we can hide."

Death Control: "We won't run from them either. Remeber we have our pride, and hiding isn't shameful is it?"

The Federation Budget: "Due to the large amounts of bounties we place, we have no budget and I do expect to get paid from this interview."

Alliances threatening war: "War with the federation??? Last time this happened we got our collective butts kicked so hard that people were losing their shoes up our posteriors. Personally, it got so bad for me that Foot Locker wanted to open an outlet store in my pants."

Dreaded Player Arrested at Port

Earlier on this week Faded Image member: Dreadlock Rasta was arrested, detained for several hours and then let go by the Ik'Thorne Port Authorities. Apparantly the arrest was due to a misunderstanding of basic as a port insepector overheard and over reacted to some comments.

The details are as follows:
Dreadlock Rasta stepped out of the local salon and looked at his hair in the mirror. He smiled then said "I am the most dreaded pilot in the galaxies." At which point the Ik'Thorne port inspector drew his sidearm and proceeded to arrest and detain Mr. Rasta.

Tupac is the hardest working...

Tupac is the hardest working stiff in Space Merchant today. He has 42 kills this time around (to date) and he has a movie coming out soon (available on Earth) along with releasing a video every two months. This is all surprising considering he was killed and buried years ago.

Image

When asked how he does it. He replied with: "I was taking the eternal dirt nap, just chilling in my grave when someone left a CD player playing "Achy Breaky Heart" by my headstone.... I was like *censored* that noise and just got up and shot the CD player. It turns out my peeps told me that one of you space jockey's out here left that CD Player on my grave, don't know which one but I'm gunning for you all."

Local Legend Upset

Local Legend Anatchos (that's Pronounced as A Nachos) is upset because people keep misspelling and misspronouncing his name. And would like people to get it right. A Nachos is currently a member of the alliance Expired and has threatened me with bodily harm if I get his name wrong again. I assure you all that Agnathole's or anybody else's name will never be misspelled by this reporter. I have even edited this to make sure it doesn't happen.

Till next time... that's the news...
Post Reply