News Control - Second Issue

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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Rosebud
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News Control - Second Issue

Post by Rosebud »

News Control – The paper beer wrote


Letters to the Editor

Editor’s note: The views expressed in no way represent those of the paper, its editor, or the new sponsors of this paper. It is with this in mind that we publish the following response we received after officially publishing our first issue.

To the Editor:
Galactic Post Requires New Management! As I was reading the Galactic Post I wondered to myself: Why are these people so angry? When was the last time I pack hunted? No Death Control member goes around in chat organizing pack hunting campaigns. With more and more kills racking up, Death Control is under increasing amounts of heat, facing accusations that are being published which are completely biased, untrue, and against the spirit of good competition.
The current GP editor however chooses to ignore most Death Control articles, with only one being published. Whether true or false, [the GP continues] to publish anti-DC propaganda in [its] own personal vendetta. [Its] obvious lack of character and tact, along with a vehement disregard for neutrality requires his immediate resignation or a forceful disengagement from upper management.

- Dead Man Writing

News Control encourages responses from it’s readers. Send your letters to Rosebud with a topic of “letter to the editor.” Please keep shorter than 150 words for it to be published.


Loose Lips Sink Ships Part II

The continuation of Loose Lips Sink Ships will not be published this issue. It would appear that members belonging to an “end of the world” cult, known as the Grin’Horths, have taken Zan Clork hostage so as to keep Death Control’s secrets just that. They hope that this will allow Death Control to bring an end to the universe. We are sorry for any inconvenience this might cause our readers, but our prayers go out to Zan Clork and his family for now.

- Death Knoll


Federation and Underground in unique cooperation!

In unique unison, representatives of both the Federation and the Underground Council recently condemned a gruesome incident which took place in the Creonti galaxy. This incident has teenage girls across the universe in uproar, and has finally confirmed that no power in the universe - not even the forces driving the antipathy between the holier-than-thou Federation and the evil, criminal Underground - is stronger than that of a protesting teenage girl! And the subject matter of the riots? The cruel and intentional murder of Hello Kitty by misterjustin - a member of the Crusaders alliance... Hello Kitty had 100 XP at the time... The incident was reported by SMR News at 12/9/2003 5:36:14 AM Server Time - and following the intense pressure from daughters across the universe, both the federation and the underground have placed bounties on the perpetrators head. However this reporter wonders whether the bounty hunters will be more motivated by the money - or the admiration of teenage girls in every corner of the universe?!?

- Shesmu


Classifieds

Cartoonist
News Control is currently in search of a cartoonist who would like to make submissions to our paper. If you are interested PLEASE reply to Rosebud with a submission of your work. If accepted, hosting will be provided for the storage of the cartoon. We are unable to pay anything other than have your name along with your work.

Slaves
The underground is currently experiencing a loss in the slave trade. Any slaves that can be provided will be purchased at a higher rate than normal. Consistent suppliers will be rewarded with an even larger bonus than most. This is a MUST!

SMR Anonymous
Looking for help with your addiction to the game? The first step is acceptance. Please join your fellow addicts and help yourself by admitting your addiction. Come to #smr, we can help.


Personals

Remember folks, for now the personals are free. Just send a private message to Rosebud with the topic of “personal” and we’ll get you in here for the next issue, but please keep them to 75 letters or less. Run time for a personal is two issues so you’ll have to resubmit every second issue. Also, to address a question received about the personals and who the writer is, my name is actually Personals so I decided that the name of this section would instead be my actual name. Understand? Good.

Sterling: I am an outgoing type of person who loves long walks on the Ik’Thorne moon beach. I also enjoy fine wine and women. Right now I’m not looking for anything serious but someone who would rather have some fun while they still can.

Soul: Hello ladies. When I'm not out on the job I like to organize my blue, red, and green suits as well as pick out matching feathers for my hat. My friends say I'm a pimp, but I prefer to say I'm just a lover of women. Interested, give me a call.

RedDragon: I am a nice guy – lost in a complicated world. If you also missed the time when you changed from an 8ft arachnid to a small quadruped, and enjoy the finer things in life then contact me. If you get in touch I can promise you the treatment of a wealthy warrior – someone who will not stand for any insult. I am looking for a successful Salvene female – other races need not apply. Photo required.


Crossword Puzzle

Image

Across
1. Editor of this paper
5. Short for weapons
6. _____ or treat
7. First person to be in the Personal section

Down
1. New sponsor of our paper
2. Name of this paper
3. What you were when you first started playing SMR
4. Clue


Letter From the Editor

It’s Death Knoll here once again. I would like to say thank you to all the hard work and dedication that went out to the writers of this issue of News Control. I would also like to put up a thank you to Death Control who has, since last issue, put forth a fund to keep this paper advertisement free. While the staff is still unpaid, we can now at least keep putting the paper out without worry of it going under for the time being. As mentioned previously we are full with writers and therefore applications are not being taken at this time for those positions. However, some have come to me with concern that their alliance will be discriminated against if they put up a personal or letter to the editor. I would like to say that the only discrimination that will go on with these is if they bash another player or alliance. This issues letter was a close call, but after some editing of the specific name I allowed it since it is more of an attack on the way our competition paper is being run rather than the player himself. Since these letters may come from anyone I would again also point out that their content does NOT reflect that of this paper, our newly acquired sponsors, or me.

Thank you and enjoy,
Death Knoll
Last edited by Rosebud on Wed Dec 10, 2003 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Max Power
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Post by Max Power »

lets hear a W00T W00T for Rosen!!! great paper, keep up the good work buddy
Who is this guy??
Adrach
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Post by Adrach »

i second that WOOT WOOT!
Blum
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Post by Blum »

I third that
Image
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