The Strip - GP Archive: Slick Suited

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
Post Reply
Harry Krishna
Beta Test Team Leader
Posts: 2621
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2003 3:39 pm
Contact:

The Strip - GP Archive: Slick Suited

Post by Harry Krishna »

First Galactic Spelling Bee

Drawing top competitors from all over the Galaxy the competition had all the makings of a peaceful show of good will. The races marched in from each side of the stadium to song and strong applause from everyone. Creonti Counciler Fudwrecker welcomed everyone and wished for happiness and no pods.

Unfortunately, some galactic Renegade named "Q" shot down the Planetary Super Freighter "Leagacy" flown by Lydia. As a result the spelling bee only had 235 translators. You can imagine the pandemonium when 200 of the participants from 416 worlds did not have a universal translator in a spelling bee?

Fortunately, Ptoloemy an extremely respected philosopher and member of the Thevian home world council was in attendance and was able to restore order. To this day, only 236 people really know what he said. The loss of life was counted at 4 dead.



Saga of Dumb and Dumber

Watches a rerun of the early late Nooz with all the infomercials edited out and hears the Noozcaster say... " In recent news from the Clacher system, we have word that Master of Disharmony of Perfect Chaos who is reknowned for his extensive pod riding expertise throughout the galaxies podded Sorrow of Nintendo Strikes Back...blah blah blah..."

CLANG!!!
THUD!!!
"OOOOWWWWW!"

As I pick myself up off the metal deck of the tonguemobile, put an icebag on my head and hit replay on the Nooz screen to make sure I heard the Noozcaster correctly...

Oh my! I exclaim as the thoughts begin to race through my Salvene Sudzy brain...He's done lost it! I wonder what they're going to do to him for that one? Hmmm...Hey on the bright side maybe NSB will cruicify him slow... I've heard rumors about slow WQH crucifictions before... starts with the painful insertions of red hot irons into undisclosed orifices... bamboo splinters under fingernails and into eyelids... things of that nature... On the other hand if they decide to come after me... hmmm... now that has potential! Maybe can find some other mined out section of the galaxy and go fishing there? That is always a possibility.

Sees a local Fed fish agent and complains...

Khan: "These Fed fisheries are pathetic!"

Fed Agent: "Well Khan, there's a new ruling that just came down from the Federal fishing authorities.There's a 60 hold catch limit! however, in your case since you fish so much in too many federal fisheries there is a 10 hold catch limit, so you'll have to turn over those 50 holds to the Fed market!"

Khan: "I don't think so! I think NSB bribed you to make me move out of the Fed fishing parking lot! That's alright, I know a place where I can fish in peace! 10 hold limit, my Sudzy toe!"

Reels in his hook and moves to a different area of the galaxy...

"Poor fishies, now I have to settle for some new fishies. Maybe I'll get lucky and... uh oh..."

Passes by a lone NSB scout, shoots it down, shortly passes by another, shoots it down... Goes for many more sectors before reaching a new destination and spies a nice sized fishing pond...

"Ah ha! A fishing hole!"



Trouble Times, part 1

Somewhere deep in the Galaxy. A place of dark, icy, and shadow, A species roams throughout the galaxy. Their kind is unknown… rumor spread across all 8 races saying they the last of a dieing race many many years ago… Now the time has come of their saying: “In The Shadow of Ice Shall Rise With The Storm”

Captains log: Star date - 53256546

We have just undocked at Star base 543 and on our way to the waypoint to carry on with our mission. I have noticed some trouble going on with the ship’s systems. Only time ca—

COMPUTER VOICE: logging record deactivated.

Sigh “not again… Reactivate Captain’s log” said Captain IceStorm

COMPUTER VOICE: unable to comply

“Reason?” asked IceStorm

COMPUTER VOICE: Captain’s logs are unavailable

[Put hand on head lightly] “Oh this is just prime, this is the 3rd time this happened, I better get Chief --” said IceStorm.

**BEEP** Captain IceStorm please report to the Bridge.

[IceStorm reports to the bridge]

“Captain we are getting some odd reading from the system.” said Ensign.

“What sort of odd reading, Ensign?” asked IceStorm

“ Well, these reading are jumping all over the place. I am unable to get a clear reading of what going, but it look like reading from sector 6745 Captain” Said Ensign.

“Put reading on viewer Ensign.” Said IceStorm

“Aye, aye Captain” Said Ensign.

“Hmmm… must be another system error, what you think Commander?” said IceStorm.

“I have to agree, I wonder why we getting reading from sector 6745 saying -30 when this ship can’t even hold force?” said Commander.

“Who installed the computer’s system onto the Galactic Semi anyway?” asked IceStorm.

COMPUTER VOICE: System has been installed by the Federal Government.

“Who asked you?” said IceStorm

COMPUTER VOICE: Captain IceStorm did

“Cocky system” said IceStorm under his breath.

COMPUTER VOICE: Thank you

“And what should we call you, Cocky?” said IceStorm.

COMPUTER VOICE: My name is USS Bite Me

[IceStorm glares at the system not believing it, then ordered the crew] “Keep a lookout for hunters in the area, we move out as soon as things are calm. Commander you have the bridge.”



Nintendo Makes Another Enemy

Last night, alarm bells at E.P.I.C.'s home base sounded as a small group of Nintendo Strikes Back ships tried to get into the E.P.I.C. home galaxy of Bellagio. NSB got into the galaxy and killed Pabst Blue Ribbon, but not before losing 2 ships to the mines that guarded the galaxy. A small tactical fleet of E.P.I.C. ships assembled quickly and chased the NSB invaders out, killing Wario in the process.

I got a quick interview with E.P.I.C. leader .44 Calibre Love Letter, who said, "I didn't have any problem with NSB. I don't know why they would suddenly decide to invade us, but I do know they'll regret it soon."

Is this a threat coming from the leader of E.P.I.C.? Will there be a war between NSB and E.P.I.C. in the near future? We here at the Galactic Post will do our best to get the inside scoop on the wars as they progress. -- GPW #4



Alliances are Getting Serious

Word has it that you have to be careful now when doing your trading, hunting, etc. as the game is getting serious.

Alliances have started claiming galaxies and planets, and now all alliances are going against each other to get revenge...or are they?

My sources tell me that some alliances may have teamed up together, but which alliances and who they are out to target will all be revealed in the days ahead. To be continued................



Reincarnation OP May Lead to More Crusaders Attacks

Reincarnation have been raiding ports inside the Crusaders home galaxy of Flamingo, and the Crusaders are closely watching to make sure Reincarnation do not take over their turf.

There has been lots of rivalry between the two alliances, with Reincarnation busting planets and raiding ports inside the Crusaders galaxy. Crusaders will be coming down hard, and word has it that they are thinking of taking up a challenge to go against Reincarnation and kill as many of them as they can.

This could be a view to the future, and we may see more alliances go against each other, making non agression pacts and everything else alliances can do to protect their players in the ongoing struggle for supremacy in The Strip.



Writing Contest Announcement

Share your exciting SMR stories in a writing contest now!

Simply submit your SpaceMerchantRealms-related short story with your in-game name to SMRFansite@gmail.com. Deadline for submitted stores is 11/28/2004 at 2am gametime. Judges will choose the winner and the top three stories will be annouced on 12/01/04.

Prizes will be awarded to the top three authors, and all works will be published. For all rules and regulations check
http://smrcnn.smrealms.de/viewtopic.php?t=4475.



What is E.P.I.C.?

Readers are still pouring their creative urges into their egrams and ecards. The truth is out there and we can handle it. More suggestions from Galactic Post readers:

Everyone Pontificating 'is Crap
Every P**** In Cognito
Entirely Pointless Inconsequential Cretins
Enjoying Priests in Colons
Eastern-Pointing Ikky Compass
Eating Pretty Infertile Craps

Until next time, keep those egrams and ecards coming...
that which pods you makes you stronger
Post Reply