The Strip - GP Archive: Over the Top

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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Harry Krishna
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The Strip - GP Archive: Over the Top

Post by Harry Krishna »

Trouble Times, part 4

**Few hours later, docked at the Nijarin HQ**

“How can I help you, IceStorm?” said The Dealer.

“Were you the one that sold me the Galactic Semi ship?” asked IceStorm.

“Yes, I believe so,” said The Dealer.

“Hey look over there, I think that’s your boss I see over there,” said IceStorm.

[The Dealer turns, then IceStorm kicks the dealer to the floor and says] “That ship you sold me is a piece of crap, and now I’m going to shove that crap up your face!”

[IceStorm knocks the dealer out cold]

**Meanwhile few hours later the Dealer wakes up and finds himself hanging upside-down locked in a room with a window facing the HQ Shipyard. “You have just been Stormed” is written on the wall. The Dealer has noticed that the ship USS Bite Me is still docked and USS Shoot Me is gone when looking out the window**

“HELP!!” shouted The Dealer.

**The Boss comes in as soon as he hears the call and releases the Dealer**

“Thank you Boss,” said The Dealer.

“You are welcome. Now do you mind telling me what happened here?” said The Dealer’s Boss.

“Well, I was talking to IceStorm and he got mad at me for selling him the USS Bite Me. He knock me out cold and the next thing I know, I’m hanging underside down facing the HQ shipyard finding out that USS Shoot Me has gone missing,” said the Dealer.

“USS Shoot Me? Not that ship!” said The Dealer’s Boss.

“Something the matter with it?” asked the Dealer.

“In a way yes, but it's too hard to explain. Let just hope IceStorm can deal with it” said The Dealer’s Boss.



Man Creates Monster

2 days ago, Taian, a lonely Creonti freighter pilot showed up at the Creonti reception facility with an astounding story.

"I was feeling a little lonely, so I overrode the Biological pneumatic lock outs on my ship's molecular replicator and asked the computer for a little lovens. Having just upgraded my computer to the new x-V23-S, it actually worked. I created a babe."

Unfortunately for Taian, however, after some close physical contact with the replicant, the poor trader was sent home in a pod. "I have no Idea how she talked me into it," says Taian. "Now have nothing - that b**** took it all!"

Traders are warned to be on the lookout for a short humanoid with 22-24-56 measurements and flying a PSF - please call Creonti Federation Police immediately if the replicant is sighted. A 2 million federal credit reward has been offered for any help that leads to her capture.



Alliance Thievery

Recent reports of an increased number of thefts from the alliance account have come in, the most significant coming from Payable On Death where KitKat stole all of the alliance's hard earned money. Shortly after that, independently, and after a small E.P.I.C. donation towards the recovery from the first theft, a second trader, Unknown Pirate stole a sum amounting to 45 million credits.

This may be a small amount of cash for experienced and well funded alliances such as Crusaders, Reincarnation, and E.P.I.C. to lose, however this had a significant impact upon the future course of the P.O.D. alliance, and its leader staggered whether or not to continue his struggle for supremacy.

Sources tell us P.O.D. is recovering and will be back up on its feet again very soon. P.O.D. leader Strike condemns the actions of these 2 thieves and pledges that his alliance will do its best to hunt down KitKat and Unknown Pirate and make them suffer for their actions.



Salvene Declare War on Thevians

After an increasing amount of hostility by Thevian hunters, the Salvene ruling council decided to take some drastic actions and ended up declaring war. This will have an important impact on the trading activities of those 2 races as none of their traders will be able to trade at the opposite race's ports.

The Salvene ruling council was reported to have debated on this issue for 3 days straight with none of its members having exited the council room before the end of the discussion. Lots of shouting was reported and at least one physical fight ensued. After the vote turned out as a victory for the war loving side, the peace loving minority stormed out of the chambers to their ships and left immediately, cursing all the way to the docks. The war supporters were also seen leaving the chambers rather quickly, however it was only due to the fact that they did not want to waste anymore time and get started on destroying any Thevian traders they would come across.

What this declaration of war has for an effect on the global relations of all races is unclear. Some see this as the beginning of a global war that the Salvene and Thevian races are starting. Will other races take sides in the conflict or will they band together to destroy the stronger race in a united effort? Only time can tell. Stay tuned in for next week's update!



Fud Organizes Convoy!

Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Fudwrecker. You gotta copy on me, Ptolemy, c'mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean clear to dope Town, c'mon. Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Ptolemy, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...

Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a super freighter pullin' logs
Lydia hauling reefer
And Diaper pullen hogs
We was headin' for bear in sector two-one-frog
'Bout a billion miles outta Shaky Town
We had nothing to lose, we were having some juice
When Fud said "Let's put the hammer down."


Ah, breaker, Ptolemy, this here's the Fud. you wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, 'bout five billion miles or so. Ten, roger. These Diaper hogs stink bad.

By the time we got into Thevian Town,
We had eight ships in all.
But there was a roadblock up on the jump shoot,
And them bears was wall-to-wall.
Yeah, them smokies was thick as drugs in a humper;
They even got two goons in the air!
I says, "Callin' all ships, this here's the Fud.
"We about to go a-huntin' bear.!"


Ahh, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Ptolemy? Negatory, Diaper; you're still too close. Yeah, them hogs is startin' to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, Pot, you better back off another ten.

Well, we rolled up space state 44
Like a bunch of goons on rails.
We tore up all of our swindle sheets,
And left 'em sittin' on the scales.
By the time we hit that Creonti-town,
Them bears was a-gettin' smart:
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From the Salvene National Guard.
There was armored goons
And rigs of evrey size.
Yeah, that chicken coop was fulla bears
And ships they filled the skies.
Well, we shot them down and we went for broke
With 16 screamin' ships in all
We even had a long-haired Friend of Jesus
Flying a chartreuse juice head mini Bus.


Ah, Fudwrecker to Ceez, "come over." "Yeah", "10-4, Ceez?" "Lissen, you wanna put that juice bus right behind that suicide jockey?" "Yeah, he's haulin' Torpedoes, and he needs all the help he can get."

Well, we laid a strip for the Alskant shore
And prepared to cross the line
We could see the warp hole was lined with bears
But I didn't have a dog-goned dime.
"Ptolemy, this here's the Fudwrecker."
"We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll."
So we crashed the gate doing warp ninety-eight
And
Fud Said "Let them F---er's Roll, 10-4."
'Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this F---in convoy
'Cross the Galax-ay"


We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Fudwrecker, out 10-4.



Massive Cargo Ship Torpedoed

Twenty-four hours ago the scene was awful in sector 2911. A fully laden freighter hauling shoes from the planet Earth to the central hub Nebula 11 got torpedoed and exploded. As of now, there are 2 billion shoes foating around in outer space.

"Well this is a no brainer," Says Fudwrecker, a respected member of the Creonti council. "It is like a womens dream come true. Deploy the Girl scouts. This disaster will be cleaned up so fast we won't even be able to read about it in the Sunday Paper. Hey, how come they can't torpedo a freighter full of hot tubs?"



Need a loan?

Is your bank account a bit shy of the cash you need for that beautiful ship?
Just getting started and need a little cash?
Contact Adnon Financial Services!!!!!

A.F.S. has reasonable rates!
$3,000,000 per trader limit, but rising every day!

Contact the trader Adnon in game if interested.



Crusaders Crushed?

Recently, if you read the news and have an IQ equal to SOul's, you will notice that Crusaders are taking a beating. After having their landing fleet demolished by kamikaze Reincarnation pilots, Crusaders have seen their stronghold of Flamingo drop planets like it was going out of style.
However, the only thing dropping as fast as those planets is the Crus morale. There are bad messages and ban points flying left and right, with some Crusaders obviously distraught over having to play and not just being able to sit back and build their galaxy and mine fields.

Some say the Rein tactic of mining is ruining the game, but is that not war? What is wrong with picking off lone ships trying to clear? Or fleet fights among the mines? What is the problem? Is there something that Rein is doing that is so foul that it just smells of cheapness? Who knows...

But for the first time, there will be no controversy as to who won this fight or who brought it on. Rein is merely showing that you don't need 60 men to do the job of 30. It is rumored that Rein leader Sterling has offered to discuss terms of surrender, as a show of respect from Rein leadership, but the Crusaders have refused. The question is, with no other targets in the game worth Rein's time and attention, how much more can Crusaders take?
that which pods you makes you stronger
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