Spockology - GP Archive: Falling Stars

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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Harry Krishna
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Spockology - GP Archive: Falling Stars

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Deadliest Sector Set to Change Its Image

In a daring public relations move, the Board of Trade and Tourism has announced that sector 2254, long reputed to be the "Sector of Certain Death", will get a huge overhaul in nomenclature. An official press release from marketing chief Devourer of Souls acknowledges "a disappointingly low income from the trade and tourism industries" and outlines a plan for change.

One of their first steps in solving this problem will be to change the name of the "Sector of Certain Death" to a more family-friendly "Sector of Likely Death." Mister of Souls contends that the name is intended to showcase the "lighthearted atmosphere" and "all around funness" of the area.

If the move is successful, inside sources indicate that the Board is considering changing the name of the "Quadrant of Ultimate Darkness" to the "Quadrant of Penultimate Darkness," and the "Forbidden System" to the "Not-Really-Forbidden-Whatsoever System."



Flying Monkeys Ruin Thevian Hopes for Peace

Around noon today Creonti Standard Time, a group of Thevian commandos stormed the Creonti Intergalactic Zoo, and blew up the phase 7 - quantim p ii-s generator.

Opening the doors to the gates, they were able to release the Thevian Giant Flying Monkeys and guide the beasts to the Creonti Council's diplomatic chambers which is just up the street from the zoo. Once inside the chambers, the monkeys screamed and jumped around and acted like, well ... like monkeys. Urine and feces were thrown everywhere.

It took zoo officials and the Creonti assemby two hours to recapture the monkeys. Fudwrecker, a minor alderman from the planet Margaritaville, could only laugh. The Creonti Council is now guaranteeing a NO vote for Thevian peace indefinitely because of this outrage.



QSS Titanic to Launch Maiden Voyage

White Dwarf Line has announced that its newest ship, the Starliner QSS Titanic, is ready for its maiden voyage. The Titanic will be the largest, most luxurious, and "most un-poddable" passanger ship in known space.
"Not even God himself could pod this ship," said its captain, "I mean, look! We got 32,000 bulkheads! Thats more than I can count! Blimey!"

One critic pointed out that although he is not an astronautical man, he didn't think that bulkheads should have anything to do with the podablility of the vessel. The Titanic is set to sail from Planet Britonia to Planet Metropolis this April.



Clacher Citizens Protest Local Violence

Locals in Clacher are fed up with the violence that is plaguing their neighborhoods. Now they are mad as hell and are taking to the space lanes to protest a situation that they say is out of control. A watch group calling themselves Clacherites for Peace has petitioned Clacher officials, the eight racial Councils, and the Federal government in an effort to get their greivances heard.

Avon Mogenpk'er, head of the CFP, spoke recently at a rally of 12,000 people in sector 4241. "When Reincarnation moved in to this galaxy, we were thankful. They brought commerce to our ports and built great cities on our planets. Their fleet of ships offered some protection when the Federation has all but abandoned us here. But Reincarnation has also brought trouble to our galaxy. Enemies of Reincarnation come and destroy our ports, their fleets of evil warships raze our worlds, burn our beautiful cities, and while these invaders are more well dressed and much better looking than Reincarnation, they seem bent on destroying our economy and our way of life. What's worse, the Reincarnation fleet is either unable or unwilling to stop these cruel but handsome desperados. Something must be done!"

Mogenpk'er held up recent examples of fleet fights and attacks on planets and port. Seven planets have been leveled by Crusaders in the last three weeks. Adult Swim attacked a planet and a main trading port. The main port in sector 4226 has been robbed at least three times, most recently by Reincarnation pilots themselves. Sector 4226 was also the scene of a devastating fleet fight between Crusaders and Reincarnation where witnesses saw 24 escape pods flying to federal space in 11 seconds.

"This used to be a nice galaxy. A place where folks could have cookouts with their neighbors and get hammered in their backyards and feel safe. Children could ride their astro scooters all over without fear of being run over by a Thevian Assault Craft or obliterated by a stray Planetary Pulse Laser. But no longer. And we have to do something before it's too late."



One Player's Opinion:
Damn the Torpedoes!


In times of war I have battled. In times of peace, I have traded. In times of nothing, I have thought. And in my thoughts, I realised what is it all about.

The past week made me realise: who cares if your alliance is good or bad or has a lot of money, because someone in the end is just gonna blow you up anyway. So why do we do this? For respect? For honour? I mean, is the most advanced player really better than the most feeble newbie?

I say NO, because that newbie may rise in the ranks and blow the hell out of that advanced player in his battle cruiser, and then along will come another newbie and goodbye to the warlord because in SMR, skill doesn't matter. It's all about pot luck and the willingness to try.

So go out, get killed, attack other pilots! Because in the end, it doesn't matter what happens because you'll know that at least you tried . And that in itself makes you a true master in the game.



FUD Labs, Inc. Issues IPO

Fud Laboratories, Inc. is offering all of its stock in order to increase its capital and develop new products. Privately owned Fud Inc., currently has 765 patents and 1,343 galactic trademarks.

Although originally focused on professional and commercial audio reproduction, the firm has since branched out into such diverse fields as alien genetics, bio chemistry, tactical and strategic weapons of mass destruction and of course pharmaceuticals. Some of the more common high dollar trademarks include:

Newtron © Speaker Technology
Diaper Striker Brand © adult underwear
Hydrogen Beer ©
The Replicator Over-rider ©
The Giant Hamster Model-A Galactic Generator ©
Fud Style © Extra Buttery Genetically Modified Popcorn


These are but a few, as to name them all would take a while. The board currently consists of CEO Mr. Alpha Fud, CFO Fud #6, and the remaining Fud clones fill in the rest of senior management. As of today all shares of Fud inc. are up for sale at 100K per share.

If you are interested please access account fudinc #134 and purchase your shares. Dividend statements will be issued regularly.
that which pods you makes you stronger
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