GP Archive, DPE: 003

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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GalacticPost
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Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 2:15 am

GP Archive, DPE: 003

Post by GalacticPost »

Mercurial Government



Much has happened very recently. After the appointing of a new president, the Creonti have decided on peace with most of the other races, a full 180 from their last status. The President of Ik'Thorne continues to veto peace treaties, and the WQ Human government has declared peace with most neighbors as well, save Ik'Thorne and Alskant, the latter for financial reasons, rumor holds. There are many changes in governments, and we at the Post will be sure to keep you updated on the latest news from the ruling councils. -Arthur Gage


Investigation Nearing End!



The investigation into crooked clerks at ports throughout the universe is nearing an end. Local authorities say that their investigation is complete, and soon they will be ready to round the crooks up in one concentrated effort. According to rumors leaked from a contact in the higher ranks of the authorities, the round up will be done as soon as Chief Spock reviews the case and gives the go ahead. Sources indicate that other petty criminals shall also be brought to justice in this massive effort. Look for this to be done in the next day or two!



*MAYDAY**MAYDAY*



MAYDAY* *MAYDAY* The port in sector 1632 is being attacked by members of Tootsie Pops. Immediate backup requested! This cry for help, the lastest in a string of Maydays echoing across the comm nets, rang out early yesterday evening. Fortunately nobody was hurt in this most recent assualt on galactic capitalism, except for the attacker known as Frosty Fruit, who was killed in the suicide attack. " I don't know why he would ever want to attack us," Said Ima Greedihoe, the port clerk on duty at the time of the attack, "We're just a normal port, and business hasn't even been that good lately." Suddenly port raiding is becoming a new trend all around the galaxy, as inexperienced yet greedy criminals try for what they mistakenly believe is easy money. To date, no port defences have been broken by these assaults, or even severely damaged, yet authorities expect the assualts to become more organized and deadly in the weeks and months ahead. Yet until they do, you can be sure to see more suicide raiders in days to come, as rookies of the Underground learn a painful lesson.


Tootsie Pops: Meat and two veg?



Federal authorities investigating an increase in behavioural disorder amongst young Thevians unveiled startling new evidence today, which appears to implicate the new Tootsie Pops craze sweeping their race. In related news the Health and Safety Committee are reviewing allegations that the emergence of the Tootsie Pops phenomenon is somehow linked to the frightening fall in Creonti population levels. We stress that as yet these are merely allegations, but we believe we speak for everyone when we ask the question "Just what are Tootsie Pops made of?". Hopefully the answer to that question should reveal itself in the next few weeks. (Donations to the Creonti Preservation Trust can be made care of this Paper)
The Galactic Post is seeking new journalists! If you're interested, message us at galacticpost80k@hotmail.com!
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