GALACTIC POST Year 1, Nr. 1

News from the "Galactic Post" and "The Space Merchant Reporter" and "News Control"
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Blade
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GALACTIC POST Year 1, Nr. 1

Post by Blade » Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:51 am

NEW ENGINES TO BE INSTALLED ON ALL SHIPS

Donated money finally paying off

Coming weekend, president Spock will finally issue new engines to all space ships in the universe. This is expected to make all actions in the universe faster and smoother. The money that pays for this engine upgrade has been collected among the inhabitants of the universe for a while, but it took more time than expected for scientists to come up with engine improvements. After the recent report of bureaucracy getting out of hand in most parts of the galaxy, slowing down daily life for everyone, and Prime Minister Page's actions to reduce administrative obligations, this is the second massive improvement of the quality of life in this universe, and all inhabitants rejoice.

WRITER'S UNION DRIVES A HARD BARGAIN

Year-long strike finally over

After a year long strike, the writers of the Galactic Post have finally resumed their work. The Writer's Union has spent the past year negotiating with the owners of the Galactic Post for a better salary and improved working conditions. The main reason for the long time taken to reach an agreement is the diversity of the writers' racial background. While the Ik'Thorne representatives fought for a better pension, the puny Creonti claimed their job should be more administrative after a Creonti reporter was trampled outside a Salvene school when class went out just as he reported on the Salvene Racial council deciding to teach Salvene children to handle the Illusion Generator device at a younger age. When the Alskant demanded a large business section in the paper, the Thevians got upset and :D hit the fan. Along with some unfortunate Alskant.
The Directory Board of the Galactic post, after a year of fighting, unilaterally decided to fire the entire staff and appoint a new Editor and new reporters. Although for this first edition, many of the old ideas are reused, the Galactic Post is expected to quickly change format, as the Directory Board has decided to involve the reader more, encouraging them to send in articles of their own.

The Editorial Board of the Galactic Post would like to thank the readers for their patience and hopes for a creative new start of the oldest and most read newspaper in the universe.

NEW GADGETS DISCOVERED

Government releases new information

In the past few days, the government released new information concerning the gadgets that are sold to anyone with enough knowledge of alien culture. Furthermore, it was confirmed that these gadgets are in fact working and are as trustworthy as modern technology.
As of yet, it is unknown why the government chose to keep the gadgets secret until recently and what changed their mind. Perhaps the high knowledge requirement has the government confident that no one will be able to use these gadgets for a long time, but one never knows how many people are willing to spend boring hours of excavation to obtain the powerful gadgets (see the interview elsewhere in this edition).

COUNCILLORS APPOINTED TO KEY POSTS

New government now holds more governing power

Last week, three new councillors, Swagman, Blade and Edgecrusher, were appointed to key posts in the government. It is expected that these appointments further strengthen the innovative power of the government, as the new councillors are known to be experienced and very familiar with most aspects of the universe. Some policies that have been discussed for a long time are now being put into place, and the amount of discussion within the government has significantly increased. It is expected that this will further add to the prosperity of the universe, and is sure to change the lives of millions of inhabitants in a positive way. When asked why he took this job, new councillor Edgecrusher responded: "Someone suggested to me that I should move on from being an alliance leader to a more influential position."

EXPERT ON ALIEN TECHNOLOGY SPEAKS OUT

Interview with Professor Czarc

On a nice and sunny afternoon, our reporter Nancy Ik'Fenel interviewed one of the well-known experts on alien technology, professor Czarc, dressed in a short skirt with lots of cleavage.
N: Professor, why are you dressed in a short skirt with lots of cleavage?
C: Well, it is a bit warm in here.
N: Professor, you are known as an expert on alien technology, how do you like using it?
C: I like it very much. It is a powerful technology that is hard to get but easy to use. Can I offer you a drink?
N: Thank you, Professor, a Salvene Swamp Water please. What alien technology do you like in particular?
C: The Erebus Imposer is definitely my favorite. When it comes to weapons, the Nyx technology is the best. Did I mention you have beautiful eyes?
N: Thank you, professor. Do you think the technology is worth the long hours you spent on discovering alien knowledge?
C: In the end it was worth, although it was a very boring job. I could use some company next time, would you be interested?
N: Uhm, I'll go to the next question if you don't mind. Do you expect to find knowledge about as of yet undiscovered alien races?
C: Of course, I hope to find technology of other races. I find it amazing and challenging to seek for more technology.
N: Then something personal, professor, when did you arrive in this galaxy?
C: I came here in 1998, though I have been back to my home universe twice.
N: Why did you decide to play solo at the start of this game, but joined one of the worst alliance leaders in this game?
C: I went solo because I was in a very powerful alliance last round, and several of us saw how this could ruin the game. So the plan was to split up and go solo, although there weren't many who did. The reason I joined the worst alliance leader this game ever has seen was for the sake of the game. EE is now the new powerful alliance and it needs some opposition to keep things exciting. Speaking of excitement, do you mind if I get comfortable and take off some of these clothes?
(Editor's note: Professor Czarc's statement that said alliance leader is *the* worst alliance leader does not reflect the professionally neutral opinion of the editorial board)
N: Do you think a two-sided war is the way to go for the coming games, or must the government come up with some way to create more and smaller alliances?
C: A two-sided war can become boring after a while. With the current number of inhabitants of the universe I would find limits on alliance roster should be lowered as a natural way to go. These changes should be easy to make and can always be pumped up again when the population of this universe has increased.
N: Finally, do you have some tips for newer players to survive the bloody war between the two big alliances?
C: Yes, avoid their areas if they are not sure how to play. (That would be the Tangeria and the Valheru galaxy, editor). Also, new players should ask for more advice, even after they got podded, to find out what they did wrong and how they can improve. Also, learn to use a scanner. I gladly answer every question I get from new players, it makes me happy because they show engagement. It isn't hard to send an in-game message to someone and ask for help.
N: Thank you for this interview, Professor.
C: You are welcome. Did I mention you have beautiful eyes?
The truth is there, just don't look blindly

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