How do these people survive?

[Freon22]

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc Nuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six Mc Nuggets


TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her '! I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'


FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked! the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier & proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.' I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the 'cruise control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'

EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine . The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough

It's tougher if you're stupid

[Dilbert]

Cruise Control is definately true, there was a court case in america about it when it happened i think and the guy who did it actually won the case because the motor home company had failed to say you cant put cruise control on a get up to make a coffee, the advertising slogan was something like "you can do the same as if you were at home" so the guy went to make a cup of coffee! lol.

Heard this one a while back,

A man working for microsoft in the technical support has a phone call from a customer and the conversation went something like this (coming from memory so sorry if i miss something out)

Microsoft: Good evening sir how can I help you today?

Customer: My computer doesnt seem to be switching on at all, I've tried pressing the on button a few times and it won't work at all.

Microsoft: Well are you sure the cables are plugged in, can you please check for me.

Customer: Ok i'll just look ...... ...... ..... yes all the cables are plugged in and nothing seems to out of place.

Microsoft: Ok sir is the plug in the socket and is it switched on?

Customer: Wait a second i'll just have to get a torch and see........ yes its plugged in.

Microsoft: A torch? Are your lights not working?

Customer: No we have a powercut in our stree at the moment.

Microsoft: Ah i think i know what your problem is sir,

Customer: Oh great, how do i fix it?

Microsoft: Well get the computer, pack it back into the box and take it back to the shop you bought it from and tell them you are too ******* stupid to own a computer!


This is apparently a true account and the microsoft employee got sacked, but he was right! lol

[JettJackson]

freon i about died of laughter

[DarkLady]

I know this is a very late reply, but having worked for MSN Tech support i can varify the Microsoft call is 100% real, it was used to deminstrate what not to say to a customer, no matter how tempting LOL and great thread btw, good place to go for a quick pick me up on a bad day

[Bonker]

was in kebab shop with my buddie after a heavy night on the town and when and he ordered a pizza. the man asked him do you want me to cut ure pizza into 12 or 16 slices... to which he reply'd " think id better have 12 i dont think i could eat 16" kinda makes u think of the fraise " if they had a brain theyd be dangerous"

[Nariis]

Soggy Software
Tech Support | Mississippi, USA

(This call came in shortly after Hurricane Katrina.)

Customer: “My computer isn’t working.”

Me: “It’s not working, or your service isn’t working?”

Customer: “My computer itself will not turn on.”

Me: “Well, since it’s not a service-related problem, I can’t really help you with fixing it. When was the last time it worked?”

Customer: “Well, we had to evacuate for a few days, and then we came back to clean up. I fished the computer out of the swimming pool and let it dry out, then got it hooked back up.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not gonna work.”


From http://notalwaysright.com

[DarthNihilus]

lol